Find something you love

Can a woman have a midlife crisis or is this experience only reserved for men?

I have been questioning many things in my life recently, from career choices, relationships to diet. It seems like nothing really adds up or make sense. Everything is a bit random, I must admit. Why did I attract such an eclectic pile of stuff?

I am usually very organized. Maybe it is time to make a plan or something. The big decluttering of my life, to make a space for something better this time... How can I be sure to pick the right thing for me? It is getting more and more difficult to make good choices when there is such a variety of everything everywhere. Someone would say just to pick what you like, or listen to your heart, but things we love today may become tomorrow's clutter. We may fall in love with somebody one day and realize we hate them a week later, just because they don't like the same flavour of ice cream; that was a bit extreme, but you get the gist.

We should just listen to our higher self. Well, easier said that done. I am trying. In fact since my big break started I have been meditating and painting a lot and although there are still many questions without an answer I must admit I feel calmer, I feel more in line with my destiny. Despite the winds outside there is a wonderful peace inside. Maybe this is my way.

Actually, finding something I love was not very difficult to me. I always knew what makes me happy and I always strived to be a full-time artist. The only problem was I didn't believe it was possible. My parents were very supportive of my talent but they brainwashed me saying that I should always think about it as a hobby. Even most recently when I spoken to my mum on the phone and reveal to her my desire, she automatically replied with the bias that all painters are poor and I have to keep my current job to survive.

I don't remember who said that, but recently I heard that sentence way too often to ignore it:

Find something you love doing and just start doing it.

There is a very strong feeling in my heart toward this quote and I believe it is a right thing to do. In fact, I think it is the only way we should live our lives. To be true with our desires, listen to our hearts and follow our calling.

Now, what shall I do with that financial insecurity monster under my bed?